I have been very fortunate to have friends since I was very young. I remember long bike rides til dusk, sleepovers that lasted so long I would come home exhausted and many happy birthday parties.
I think it's a really important part of childhood and it made me feel accepted and loved.
After about six months of really working on self-esteem issues and getting into a routine with our new schedule, we decided to start a homeschool group to meet and make new friends.
We started a book club slash writing group because Maddy really loves to write stories and read.
We advertised on Facebook and received an interest from a mom with three kids who also loved reading and writing and art. I was very excited and thought we were on our way to making some new friends and our stress of bullying would be over.
All went well for the first six to eight months and all the children seemed to get along really well.
They would laugh and joke and play games with each other and we regularly met outside of the group.
Then suddenly I noticed a new attitude from one of the younger siblings who was close to Maddy's age.
She started becoming bossy and sassy to everyone and this started bothering my daughter. It wasn't so much the sassiness it was being told that my daughter didn't know as much as she did and that everything Maddy thought was ridiculous or wrong.
I thought maybe this child was going through some growing pains and her mother was working on some behavior issues. I did notice that she was allowed to talk like this around adults and thought maybe her mom was embarrassed and shy and didn't want to make a scene.
In my house, we don't allow sassiness no matter where we are and I would have taken Maddy aside to speak to her but this was another mom and it was her child. Surely she would nip it in the bud herself and it would be over soon.
I think it's a really important part of childhood and it made me feel accepted and loved.
For my youngest daughter, this is not the case she has Aspergers and does not do well in social situations.It has been difficult to make friends due to trust issues and bullying while attending our local elementary school.
My family has tried to help her through these issues but it still takes her a while to really open up and let her guard down. When we made the decision to homeschool I thought it would relieve some pressures and help her feel more secure.
After about six months of really working on self-esteem issues and getting into a routine with our new schedule, we decided to start a homeschool group to meet and make new friends.
We started a book club slash writing group because Maddy really loves to write stories and read.
We advertised on Facebook and received an interest from a mom with three kids who also loved reading and writing and art. I was very excited and thought we were on our way to making some new friends and our stress of bullying would be over.
All went well for the first six to eight months and all the children seemed to get along really well.
They would laugh and joke and play games with each other and we regularly met outside of the group.
Then suddenly I noticed a new attitude from one of the younger siblings who was close to Maddy's age.
She started becoming bossy and sassy to everyone and this started bothering my daughter. It wasn't so much the sassiness it was being told that my daughter didn't know as much as she did and that everything Maddy thought was ridiculous or wrong.
I thought maybe this child was going through some growing pains and her mother was working on some behavior issues. I did notice that she was allowed to talk like this around adults and thought maybe her mom was embarrassed and shy and didn't want to make a scene.
In my house, we don't allow sassiness no matter where we are and I would have taken Maddy aside to speak to her but this was another mom and it was her child. Surely she would nip it in the bud herself and it would be over soon.
This was not the case and Maddy continued to be bullied by this child.How awkward it can feel when a parent is right there witnessing this happening to your child and does nothing about it. I finally had had enough and decided to confront the mother, I felt comfortable enough to talk to her when our kids weren't around.
I called her and left a message asking her to return my call when she had some free time. I didn't leave any details except that I needed to speak to her about the children. I have never really had to confront another parent in all my years of parenting our older child so this was new to me.
I decided to remain calm and sweet not to upset anyone and recited my case. I explained that my child couldn't understand why her daughter was acting so mean and bossy whenever they got together and what had changed? Had my daughter done anything to upset her daughter?
I felt like on that day I was one of the worst mothers in the world.The mother became defensive and outright mean. She told me on a recent sleepover Maddy had asked her daughter to move a lamp so it wouldn't shine on her face and that upset her daughter. I laughed to myself but I knew her daughter was also sensitive and maybe Maddy had said it mean.
During a recent stay at my home, her daughter had made Maddy cry because all this girl wanted to do was read a book on her tablet the whole night. I politely asked her if she would like to go home since she seemed not to feel good? She told her mom I lectured her about playing with Maddy and she believed her eight-year-old. I told her mom that no such thing happened and she accused me of calling her daughter a liar.
Consequently, she stopped speaking to me and I was baffled, I couldn't see what I had done wrong?
How did this happen so quickly? Why was her mother unwilling to even see my side of the story?
All these questions circled my head and I was really upset. I even tried working things out and apologized even though I had felt I did nothing wrong.
My whole point of this story is now that we are not friends she has gossiped how Maddy and I are trouble makers and that people should be careful about making friends with us. The only way I know this is because one of the moms that started coming to book club approached me and was honest and told me.
Why are we not allowed to defend our kids? Why are we wrong for trying to do so? What makes another person's child better than yours? What has happened to society and why is everyone so defensive? What started out small became such a burden that it dissolved a friendship in just a few minutes and over ridiculous things.
I also am hurt because of this one incident we are being judged unfairly. Adults, as well as kids, are being bullied and it is time to put a stop to it. We should be able to teach our children that bullying no matter how old you are is just wrong.
I called her and left a message asking her to return my call when she had some free time. I didn't leave any details except that I needed to speak to her about the children. I have never really had to confront another parent in all my years of parenting our older child so this was new to me.
I decided to remain calm and sweet not to upset anyone and recited my case. I explained that my child couldn't understand why her daughter was acting so mean and bossy whenever they got together and what had changed? Had my daughter done anything to upset her daughter?
I felt like on that day I was one of the worst mothers in the world.The mother became defensive and outright mean. She told me on a recent sleepover Maddy had asked her daughter to move a lamp so it wouldn't shine on her face and that upset her daughter. I laughed to myself but I knew her daughter was also sensitive and maybe Maddy had said it mean.
During a recent stay at my home, her daughter had made Maddy cry because all this girl wanted to do was read a book on her tablet the whole night. I politely asked her if she would like to go home since she seemed not to feel good? She told her mom I lectured her about playing with Maddy and she believed her eight-year-old. I told her mom that no such thing happened and she accused me of calling her daughter a liar.
Consequently, she stopped speaking to me and I was baffled, I couldn't see what I had done wrong?
How did this happen so quickly? Why was her mother unwilling to even see my side of the story?
All these questions circled my head and I was really upset. I even tried working things out and apologized even though I had felt I did nothing wrong.
My whole point of this story is now that we are not friends she has gossiped how Maddy and I are trouble makers and that people should be careful about making friends with us. The only way I know this is because one of the moms that started coming to book club approached me and was honest and told me.
Why are we not allowed to defend our kids? Why are we wrong for trying to do so? What makes another person's child better than yours? What has happened to society and why is everyone so defensive? What started out small became such a burden that it dissolved a friendship in just a few minutes and over ridiculous things.
I also am hurt because of this one incident we are being judged unfairly. Adults, as well as kids, are being bullied and it is time to put a stop to it. We should be able to teach our children that bullying no matter how old you are is just wrong.
the girls had their first sleepover.
