On February 10th 2005 I gave birth to our fourth child and second daughter Madelyn Grace Landry in Slidell, Louisiana at Slidell Memorial hospital.
Holding this gorgeous tiny life brought more joy to my heart than you can imagine. She weighed only 6lbs and was a beautiful shade of rosy pink, the nurses in the hospital loved having her in the nursery, she seemed like the perfect angel and we had been blessed after four tragic miscarriages.
My perception changed a little when the perfect angel was between the ages of two and six, I remember thinking "Wait! God, you made a mistake! I don't have the energy or the patience to deal with this mini version of Napoleon!"
She barely slept at naptime, would run around the doctor's office and literally climbed the walls and silently rip magazines or books while we were waiting. I would ask her doctor at that time "Is she hyper? is she suppose to be this energetic?" The doctor would laugh and tell me she was just playing or trying to get attention from her siblings.
During the summers we would go to a local gym their outdoor pool was wonderful and it would give us somewhere to keep cool during the long hot Georgia days. I thought being outside and active would be good for both of us. I also was hoping to meet other moms and make friends for Maddy. I had it all planned out in my head and life seemed like it was going to breeze by.
Maddy threw major fits about most things, having to wear a life vest or sitting down while eating a snack. She would run off and act like she didn't hear me when the whistle was blown for the fourth time because she ran instead of walked. All the other moms would look at me like I was being mean when I constantly had to hold her down while sitting in our lounge chairs during lifeguard breaks. I would try to hug and console her but she didn't want anything to do with me.
I often cried and felt like a terrible mother because my other three older children never acted like this. I often blamed myself being older and not having as much patience. I didn't realize until she was a bit older that she suffers from Aspergers and a lot of what I couldn't understand when she was younger was because she couldn't express herself.
She barely slept at naptime, would run around the doctor's office and literally climbed the walls and silently rip magazines or books while we were waiting. I would ask her doctor at that time "Is she hyper? is she suppose to be this energetic?" The doctor would laugh and tell me she was just playing or trying to get attention from her siblings.
During the summers we would go to a local gym their outdoor pool was wonderful and it would give us somewhere to keep cool during the long hot Georgia days. I thought being outside and active would be good for both of us. I also was hoping to meet other moms and make friends for Maddy. I had it all planned out in my head and life seemed like it was going to breeze by.
Maddy threw major fits about most things, having to wear a life vest or sitting down while eating a snack. She would run off and act like she didn't hear me when the whistle was blown for the fourth time because she ran instead of walked. All the other moms would look at me like I was being mean when I constantly had to hold her down while sitting in our lounge chairs during lifeguard breaks. I would try to hug and console her but she didn't want anything to do with me.
I often cried and felt like a terrible mother because my other three older children never acted like this. I often blamed myself being older and not having as much patience. I didn't realize until she was a bit older that she suffers from Aspergers and a lot of what I couldn't understand when she was younger was because she couldn't express herself.
Finally, one day at preschool both of us had a very rough day and both had been crying. I asked one of the mothers. "How do you know God gave you the right child?" She looked at me so sweetly and sympathetic, she knew I had my hands full and that I felt lost. Her voice was gentle and kind "God doesn't make mistakes" she began" he gives you the child he knows you can handle no matter what."
Those words have brought me much joy on many days when I thought" God, I just can't take anymore I need a reprieve." God has given me a beautiful child whose heart is after his. She has a kindness and gentleness about her that was hidden under all that wildness.We have been working on helping her deal with Aspergers and she also has been helping herself.I have a deep love for all our children but Madelyn is the angel God sent down from heaven just for me.
Those words have brought me much joy on many days when I thought" God, I just can't take anymore I need a reprieve." God has given me a beautiful child whose heart is after his. She has a kindness and gentleness about her that was hidden under all that wildness.We have been working on helping her deal with Aspergers and she also has been helping herself.I have a deep love for all our children but Madelyn is the angel God sent down from heaven just for me.
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